6 Months -
I can't believe we are approaching the 6 month milestone already.. it's hard to believe that Reegan would have been 10 months. I sit here and I just try to imagine what would life be like if Reegan was still here. Would he have been walking? What would have been his favorite foods? Would he have grown some hair on that little bald head of his?

However, I can say the peace that surpasses all understanding, and with time and many prayers Andrew and myself are doing considerable well. We have our moments, we have our days, that are still very hard. I think the hardest thing that we are anticipating right now, is that in 2 months it would have been his birthday.. October 16. What is this day going to bring? I will be honest, I'm afraid to face that day, and it's not that far away now. I'm afraid to face the first Thanksgiving and Christmas. I know this is only normal, and yet it doesn't make it any easier. I know that when those days approach that God will give us the extra strength we need to get through it.

Our lives have been as back to normal, as normal can be. We have been keeping ourselves incredibly busy this summer, it's helped with passing time. We have spent most weekends at the lakes, camping with family and friends. Spending time in God's creation, and enjoying each others fellowship has definitely brought good healing. Maybe our not so recent news anymore, has helped with that too! Lord willing we will be bringing home another baby at the end of this year, or beginning of next! We are so truly grateful that God has blessed us this soon again. Reegan left us with a burning desire to have more children. Our hearts break when we think he won't be here to be apart of his earthly family, or to be the big brother that I know he would have loved. I know that one day, God will reunite us all again, and my continual and constant prayer is that God's will on this earth will be completed soon!

We are beyond excited to become earthly parents again! It's hard to fathom that I'm half way there already... when I think of that, I realize that I need to kick it into gear. I have a LOT of things that I need to get done before then. Finish Reegan's scrapbook, clean and reorganize the nursery, repaint the nursery, you get the hint. Speaking of the nursery, I have had so many ask me what I'm going to do with Reegan's room. Good question, I'm hoping the ultrasound this Friday will give me an answer as to what needs to be done. I have not touched his room, other than it being complete dumping grounds for you name it at this point. The dresser, and closet look just the way they did 6 months ago. I have a bit of anxiety about having to pick up the pieces and move on. I know I could leave it, and use the other spare bedroom in our home, but I don't think that will solve anything either. I am hoping that a fresh coat of paint, some new artwork, and DIY projects that I have in mind, will give us a fresh start. If it's a boy, I'll have it made pretty easy with just having to swap clothes out from a tub that's in the bottom of the closet. However, if it's a girl, I've already been warned that grandma Roelfs is ready to buy pink, and lots of it, if she's given the chance!

The other common asked question? What would you like.. a boy or girl? Obviously, like any parent, our prayer is that this child is healthy, whether that be a boy or girl. A boy would be so fun again, I feel like we would be able to pick up where we left off.. not that this child would EVER replace Reegan. If it's a girl.. then that's a whole new ball game, and it's Andrew's turn to be out numbered! ;) Hopefully sometime over the weekend we will be able to reveal the sex of this child.. so you better stay tuned! I'm 98% confident we are having another boy... why? I feel exactly how I did last summer at this time, it's an identical pregnancy all over again. I guess time will only tell. Andrew on the other hand, he's rather hopeful for another boy.. go figure! :)

I pray that you are continually uplifting us in prayer, as we have many exciting things to look forward too, and yet our hearts are far from healed. Please pray for a continued and healthy pregnancy. Also, remember those who have lost children whether recent or in the past. This is definitely a hard road to walk, but with God's grace and mercy, and a supportive community of prayer warriors, it is possible to find the joy in everyday life even when some days that seems like the impossible.

I will try and not let another 3 months go by before I post again! Until then, thank you for your continued support.
Angela