New Norm -
Reegan, it's almost been 2 months - although, it's felt like 2 years. I can't help but think that your life was already 1/2 over, since the time of your funeral. Your dad and I miss you terribly. Are hearts hurt some days more than others, and especially on Sundays. We never did anything but go to church twice on Sundays, play, take a nap, and play some more. We miss seeing your big smile during church. You thoroughly enjoyed watching the other little kids during the service, and we especially got a kick out of you a time or too when you were singing right along with the congregation. You could carry a pretty good tune for being such a little guy. Many people would comment how alert you were for your age. I'm so thankful that God fast forward you so that we could enjoy your giggles, and smiles much sooner than most babies your age. From time to time your father and myself ask God, why..why Reegan? Unfortunately, we haven't and won't receive any answers, so we are just trying our best to accept this new reality. It's hard though, everywhere we go, people seem to be enjoying life with their precious families, new babies being born, families announcing their pregnancies, and so forth. We are trying our best  to keep our eyes looking forward, praying that God does reveal his plan for us. We truly miss having a sweet baby to love on, knowing that we will never have you again - is a very hard reality to accept. I'm just thankful that we showed as much love as we could to you.. we told you daily, several times a day, how much we loved you - your dad would repeatedly say, "Reegan, mommy and daddy love you." It was the sweetest things to be ears.. as I would hear you giggle back as your dad would say this over and over and over. I told you I loved you often, but I know that I kissed that sweet bald head of yours more! Probably more than you cared or more than I can count. But that's just okay. We have no regrets with you! We spent as much time as we possibly could giving you the attention you deserved!

I never really enjoyed dropping you off at daycare - it was just something that I had to do. I would count the hours and minutes before I got to see you again! I knew you were in good hands and that you loved those "big kids" at Gretchen's! It wasn't until you were gone, that I fully understood your love for daycare! One of the little boys at daycare told his mother, just a few weeks after you passed that he really missed you at daycare. His mother proceeded to tell him that all the kids missed you. The little boy proceeded to say, "Mom, but I tickled his feet everyday at lunch, and he loved it!" Oh I know that you did - every little attention you got from children just seemed to put the biggest smile on your face. Another daycare story that Gretchen told me was, she was just starting to put you in the saucer, and you would play and play. However, you did not like it when you would get yourself turned around and would be facing the opposite direction of all the kids. You would squawk enough to let Gretchen know that you needed to be turned around. Then a big smile would  come over your face yet again. You also had a "big brother" at daycare that was always watching out for you! Yep, you knew it, Brendan. He is such a special little boy to us. I recently too found out that he would beg his mom to take a toy to what she thought was preschool. When in reality, he was trying to take toys to Gretchen's house to show you during the time you spent in the boppy during his lunch time before preschool. Every day, you and Brendan had lunch together, I believe the last toy he brought was a stuffed lion that it's eyes lit up and he would roar! Brendan says you loved it! I can only imagine.. how much the two of you enjoyed each other's company. I know that you left an everlasting memory for Brendan too, as he continues to pray for you daily. I've heard Brendan pray before meal times, thanking God for his food, family, etc.. but he has also added to his prayer - It's too bad that Reegan had to die, but we will see him again some day! What faith that little Brendan has at the age of 5.

 I am 100% confident that you enjoyed your time at Gretchen's. I would ask you every morning if you were ready to go to Gretchen's and play with the big kids? You would always giggle and smile when asked this question - I'm pretty sure you knew what I was saying! You LOVED the kids there and Gretchen was like a 2nd grandma to you too! I know she loved you like her own and that she gave you the best care she could! My day care bill is a bill I wish I could have back in a heartbeat! The next time your writing out the daycare check - remind yourself what a blessing it truly is!
It's unreal how many lives you have touched in your short time - young and old. You have reminded us what is really important in this life, and what's not so much. The joy that you brought to so many is very evident. Your beautiful smile, and big blue eyes - you really were a heart breaker! Just like I would count the days and minutes that I could see you till the end of my work day - I am wondering how many more days, weeks, months, years before we will meet again? Either the Lord will return or call us home, then there will be no more counting cause we will be forever together