Reegan –

We are approaching the 1 month mark of you being in Heaven.  These days.. I seem to be catching myself day dreaming quite often. I’m dreaming of you in Heaven and what you are experiencing.. I long for that day when we meet again. But, Your father and myself are doing well, considering the circumstances.  I never thought we’d make it out alive, drowning in fear and heart ache scared me to death! I have learned to depend on our Sovereign God more than ever in my entire life. Your dad’s prayer every night before you passed away, that God would grant us as parents wisdom to raise you in a godly way. I always thought to myself, wisdom is a different word for what I would have used for God’s guidance in raising you.. but who would have known that it was God speaking to us so clearly.

Today I decided I was going to Google the word wisdom. Wisdom is the judicious theory and application of knowledge. It is a deep understanding and realization of people, things, events or situations, resulting in the ability to apply perceptions, judgments and actions in keeping with this understanding. It often requires control of one's emotional reactions so that universal principles, reason and knowledge prevail to determine one's actions.  Wow – I had to reread this a few times, to get what it grasped. But, I think it was a perfect usage of words all along! Providence, one would say. Your father has been praying for an understanding of “losing you” before God called you home.

Providence is also another beautiful word that I have come to appreciate. I was always aware that everything happened for a purpose. It wasn’t until Reegan was called home that I truly grasped God’s Providence. Providence:  All predestined therefore every action is because God willed it. Everything is providence! Did you catch that? EVERYTHING is providence. From the moment Reegan was created in my womb, to the moment he was born, to the false diagnosis of testicular cancer, a wonderful 12 week maternity leave, to the time God called Reegan home. EVERYTHING was in God’s plan. We are taking great comfort in knowing that there is nothing that we could have done differently, that would have changed the outcome of keeping you on this earth longer. However, we were not ready to give you up, you are one blessed boy to be serving our Savior in the heavenly kingdom!

Our prayer with many others, is that God will continue giving us a peace that surpasses all understanding. Let me tell you, this peace is unexplainable, that leaves me speechless. However, I know that we serve an Almighty God, that does indescribable things! I pray as we continue on this road of grief, we will continue clinging to God’s promises, because after all we serve a God has bigger and better things in store for us than we can probably imagine!

Reegan, if your receiving a few extra kisses in heaven, they’re from your mama! Sometimes, I just whisper to God and ask him to give you a kiss from me!

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed – Ps. 20:4

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11